:: Fox Lunacy ::

Just returned from my first visit to Melbourne. It was only three days (barely). I almost cried as the plane took off. I walked, nay, dragged myself through Brisbane's Domestic Terminal and I wanted to turn back around. Sis and boyfriend came to pick me up. When I got home, the dog went ballistic, seems he missed me. Can't say the same. I walked into my room and I felt... disdain. I felt repulsed by it, and caged. A strong need to be 'elsewhere'. I do realize that this could be a 'fancy', like when I fell in love with Sydney, initially. However, Melbourne reminded me of the 'world' I knew growing up. It was very European in ambient. In comparison, I spent 10 days in Tokyo. Loved that city - to bits. I was as depressed when I returned then (Apr '08), as though I'd had my heart broken/torn out by some crush/love. This one, feels like that, after only three days. Pretty scary. I think it was my third taste, this one more pronounced since it's st

Why can't I do it? Why can't I just tell you how I feel? My mouth opens, nothing comes out... My heart pounds in my throat, but it can't force the words out. The words long waiting to be expelled... The void of insecurity sucks them back into the abyss. Oh great coward, forever running with your tail between your legs... You tell yourself so often that you don't stand a chance, you start to believe it and lose interest. Shoot yourself in the foot, why don't you? Just spit it out. ______________________+ ©Patrick Dias, 2009 | ----------------------+